On San Francisco 49ers quarterback Jeff Garcia: "He's the CanadianLeague import with the Mexican-sounding name. A NAFTA quarterback,and trust me, they'll feel free to trade him if he doesn't pan outthis year."
On New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick: "We met Belichickthe other night. It's amazing what a genial chap he was. I alwaysheard this stuff about the guy being intense; you know, that heblinks as frequently as Clint Eastwood in a Sergio Leone film. Thenyou meet him, and he's glib, he's funny and nice. You've got to meetthem before you judge them. That's something I'm learning as I gofrom the couch to this."
On Canton, Ohio: "Ironically, you can't get any good Cantonesefood in this town."
After 49ers receiver Eric Chew fumbled: "Chew regurgitated."
On Hall of Fame inductee Ronnie Lott: "Ironically, a man namedLott turned other people into pillars of salt."
On his kids: "I hope my boys are watching. They've never been ableto watch one of my shows. I swear too much."
After Al Michaels promoted a halftime report from the Republicanconvention: "Republicans and Democrats, there's a couple of 4-12teams."
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